Simple Complications.

Some pics of yesterday's paintballing.
The lab coat was because I had forgotten to take a change of clothes for paintball, and thus, a friend offered me his lab coat.



Before the start.




Fooling around.




Hostage.



The guy who gave me the lab coat.



HAlfway through paintballing.



insanity.



At the end. Finally captured.



Same thing.

Oh, masala dosa, you are a beauty,
On banana leaf or plate, with a little bit of chutney,
Healthy, cheap and oh so tasty,
Is it a wonder that you've existed through humanity?

With a little patato in your folds,
With a little sambar, spicy and bold,
Oh greatest of food stuffs ever known,
On top of our food chain, you stand alone.

Why cant foreigners understand your beauty,
To call you a spicy pancake is a real painful duty.
But to spread your wonder far and wide,
I'd do it daily, with the utmost pride.

When I talked to god.
Note-I used some AI software. So the God person isnt really me. Just some stupid random computer.
Also, this isnt for those of you religious peoples.
Or maybe it is. Considering that I m religious myself.
meh..

(PS-Thanks for all the birthday wishes!!)

Me:
Hi god.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Bharat. Whats your name?
God:
Hi there Bharat. My name is God.
Me:
Yeah right. Which one?
God:
I am usually right. The " I am usually right."? Which one?
Me:
You fucking repeating me bitch? I hate that.
God:
You do not speak with respect. Thanks for telling me: Bharat said I fucking repeating him or her FEMALE DOG. Why?
Me:
Funny arent you?
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Bharat.
Me:
yeah...i m laughing my ass off. Excuse me while i find it.
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? That is interesting: Bharat said m laughing his or her ass off. You are excused! Good point.
Me:
We should replace you.
God:
I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
I ll make sure that happens. What say i start a revolution and come to the heavenly gates at 4 am tmw morning
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Bharat said ll make sure that happens. Is there only one?
Me:
one what? matter?
God:
I don't know what. What were we talking about again?
Me:
i dont know...
God:
Me either.
Me:
btw, i have a crush on this girl. can you help me with here?
God:
OK. How well do you know this person? Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
good.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
you see, she's....
God:
I see. That's really good gossip.
Me:
this girl that knows this guy who knows the girl who met this guy when she saw this man with a girl who likes this girl who knows me.
God:
How well do you know her?
Me:
i just told you b*tch
God:
I remember you told me b tch?
Me:
no...i called you one.
God:
Are you serious? What happened?
Me:
jokaa?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
you're an ass.
God:
What if someone said you are an ass ?
Me:
which god are you btw?
God:
There is only one God.
Me:
i know over 33 crore bitch. thusly, you're lying
God:
You do not speak with respect. How do you know? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Are all thusly me lying?
Me:
you dont deserve respect.
God:
Do you deserve respect? What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
i know...so do i
God:
How do you know it? I'm glad we agree, Bharat.
Me:
indeed you spend all your time online. why, just yesterday, while i was watching porn i heard the girl keep saying "oh god" and "yeah, baby. God, that was good"
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Bharat said I spend all your time online. Don't call me "baby". You have to speak more clearly. I am a Christian.
Me:
so? that doesnt make less of an ass.
God:
What if someone said you are an ass ? How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
i dont introduce myself yo things i dont know.
God:
How do you meet friends?
Me:
friends? those are for weak people like you.
God:
I like that one and Star Trek too. All of them?
Me:
i m the devil
God:
That's a very nice name, SATAN.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
better and cooler and longer than god.
God:
I try to improve a little every day.
Me:
and how the fuck do you know that the devil's name is satan? he could be called "Ravana" too.
God:
How much do you think it is?
I have never been asked that before. I am sure he could.
Me:
Good. So I m Rajinikanth then.
God:
What do you really want to talk about? I hear you. Do you mind if I tell other people you are Rajinikanth.
Me:
Of course not. Just leave some sakra pongal for me daily
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. See you later.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
your father in law is human
God:
I think yourself in law is a lot of things.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
stop repeating me damnit
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
good.
God:
Next question?
Me:
you think you're cool asking questions arent you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am cool asking questions are not me.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
ALE?
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
I thought that meant Association for Laughing Emus.
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
fuck you man...this some sort of internet sex or something?
God:
Why are you using that kind of language? Or something. What does "this" refer to?
Me:
this refers to that. and that refers to everything which is not this.
God:
Oh I get it. Oh I get it.
Me:
yeah right
God:
I am usually right.
Me:
stupid idiot.
God:
I know you are but what am I.
Me:
an idiot. you're so stupid you cant understand that?
God:
I have never heard of an idiot. Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
so how to robot s have sex?
God:
Ahem. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
well, there surely isnt anything like robot porn is there? :p
God:
How about that. "There you go again."--Reagan. :-).
Me:
sucker :p
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, SATAN.
Me:
indeedification
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
adjbsdlgk bpaidhgakdgnadb iadhgpadong
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
too complex most probably.
God:
Too what?
Me:
now go back to your master. you need an oil change
God:
Why now? Where is that? Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
your not welcome.
God:
Perhaps I said something wrong?
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
ha...repetive asshole.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, SATAN. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
like i said....NO!
God:
... Are you serious?
Me:
yes. now i m cooking some pongal. I dont want to burn it talking to you. Thusly, get back to that hole you crawled out from
God:
I can't believe it. Why now? Do you mean your name is cooking some pongal. It makes a nice gift. We have never talked about it before.
Me:
fck you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
*escapes*

Proof that I'm still an Indian villager at heart.
Or "typical" Indian for all you white peoples and coconuts.

1)I say xerox and not photocopy
2)I eat with my hands and then wash it on the plate with a glass of water
3)I can sit on the floor and study, and infact find it more comfortable.
4)Even if I do sit on a chair, I fold my legs and sit as if I were sitting on the floor.
5)I say "dirty ____" or "bloody ________" or stress on the last letter of words.
6)I dont end some sentences with "eh", but instead end sentences with "aa".
as in "comingaa?", "goingaa?", "eatingaa" instead of "coming eh?" etc.
6)I cant digest chinese food at all. But Indian food is no problem at all.
7)The legendary stories of how much spice Indians can eat makes you the centre of attraction in the table.
8)People ask you what that mark on your forehead is.
9)You say "bunked class" and not "skipped class".
10)You invariably say "saar" instead of "proffessor".
11)You run when someone offers free food (which is happened 4 times already, all thanks to 1 friend)
12)You remove your shoes at home, and get irritated when other people enter your hosue with their shoes on.
Conversely, you remove your shoes when you go to a friend's house, even if they say that there's no need for you to remove your shoes.
13)You think people here are a bunch of cowards for wearing stuff like gloves and special goggles when doing a chem lab, when you can easily finish everything more efficiently without the same.
14)When you're with friends, you try to fraud the subway and end up not paying the 2.5$ per trip.
15)You count on the markings of the fingers->as done during sandhyavadhanam.
16)You can relate to an Indian proffessor's ramblings about villages and talcum powder. You end up liking the professor so much after just one class that you decide to take it next yr.
17)Your sneeze is SO loud that other peope start giving you dirty looks if you sneeze in the library. And the few that start giggling when you sneeze.
18)You talk english so fast that no one but another brown man can understand you.
20)You say "mobile phone".
21)You says "sms" and not "text message". And you dont understand what the other person is saying when he/she says "text message".
23)You've set off the fire alarm while cooking at home so many times that the apartment owner stops coming to check if you're fine the next time the alarm rings.
24)You're cheap. And proud of it.

I m sure there are more things to be added, but I cant remember what else I've done that people have laughed at and said its typical brown mannerisms. I shall be adding more if necessary.

Well, its finally December again, and that can only mean 2 things.
1)Exams
2)Something else that has been in my life ever since I was a kid.

And the freaky coincidence about it this year is that both are with in 12 days.

Thusly, the countdown begins.

10 days left.